To Marin –
Okay so for this Birthday, like most of the others, a dinner and party and all your favorite food, drink and distilled poisons… grin. I talk to you most days and feel you present from time to time and then there are the messages I get from you through our friends. There is one of a couple of events that I’d like to share with your friends as confirmation of your continued existence that I have not shared outside of Rachel and your siblings. I ache for you at times, my angel, darling, best friend and loyal loving daughter. The dysfunction and lack of respect for the organized world has never really gone away but my love for life has returned and my mind’s-eye sense of your presence remains.
To Marin’s friends -
I have not reported this event publicly nor would I wish to be seen as delusional with parental grief or overcome by wishful thinking… this series of events can be verified by Linda and Bob Mullen, my wonderful wife Rachel, Rick Tilson and others. My reason for telling this story now is that I feel as Marin’s friends are developing in life that it will serve them well to know it and I must confess a sense of “encouragement” from Marin to give the story light. It is not an easy thing to offer in public and private elements of the story are withheld for Marin’s sake but it clearly addresses one of the most often asked human questions.
It is something that is called in paranormal events, a “Cross Correspondence”. Cross Correspondences are accepted by unbiased members of the academic community as the closest thing to actual proof of conscious existence beyond clinical death. It was first observed in the late 19th Century at the prestigious Ecole Polytechnic in France. Since that time this category of event has challenged skeptics and a satisfactory mundane explanation of cross correspondences has never been found.
It is very difficult to recount this in public and really I only recount it now because so many of her friends have mentioned the feeling of her presence with us… I felt this story should be available to you because I found it actually helped me with some kind of healing.
When the Police woke me up in the early hours of the morning of September 16th to get me to come and identify the mind crushing remains of Marin’s poor corpse I had one image of Marin as I was waking which was of her in the dark looking up at headlights. When the police introduced themselves I knew the worst but refused to believe it until, at the morgue, the police asked me to identify Marin by looking at her right hand. Following Marin’s death (and that waking dream) I thought she would connect with me… for the longest time I was expecting some kind of contact from Marin but none came… although friends had dreams and events and often reported messages accompanying the perfume of roses from Marin. Over a year later, whilst investigating the field of Binaural Beats with the Munroe Institute for the “Beyond” series we (Rachel and I) tried out one of their exercises that was supposed to grant us whatever we wished to manifest. I asked for some kind of reassurance that Marin was happy and safe and, most of all, was free of any kind of spiritual predators. Rick was leading the event and after he found out what I was manifesting he said these wishes manifest in up to 10 days. “This one is a little complex so it might take 10 days.” Ten nights later I dreamed that I met Marin at an airport. Her golden hair was a beautiful white and she was wearing a French Beret. She was laughing and majestic… seeming to me to be both fulfilled and matured while not losing any of her younger sense of fun. I spent all night in that dream and every time I woke up I went back to it. She introduced me to her new friends. We played games, visited places, partied and had great fun for hours. Eventually she led me back to the airport and just before we parted she confessed to me something that her mother had done in life that really distressed her but that she had never told me about. This something might have been considered tough love but certainly would have caused Marin some embarrassment to tell me when she was alive. Then I woke up feeling very reassured. I remembered her story and next day called both Linda and another friend of hers who was very close to her to ask if they knew about this event. As I was telling Linda the story she finished it for me. When I was telling her other friend she interrupted me and said “Marin said she never told you that story.” They were both surprised to discover that I knew about the event because Marin had told them categorically not to tell me about it. There was no way I could have invented or guessed at this incredibly personal and bizarre event. So, Marin had figured out the way to make sure I would not think the dream was just wishful thinking. She knew my need to verify paranormal events. To prove them or disprove them without value judgments one way or the other.
There have been more events which have confirmed Marin’s continued existence for me but none so conclusive. Certainly after directing 52 episodes of “Beyond” I find it hard NOT to believe in life after death. So now, today, I decided that despite the possibility of offending the rigid thinkers, skeptics and “stick-butts” to tell Marin’s friends and siblings all that she really is still with us… she really loves life and really wants us all to be happy… she also hopes you never forget her… because that makes her sad.
Happy Birthday my darling darling girl. If you were here now I’m sure you’d be working on the “Malevolence” film with me… partying with fireworks on your Birthday and then in a few weeks all of us heading down South for a vacation to remember before starting in on the next picture in Louisiana. Although not physically here it helps to know you are sometimes walking beside us here in spirit.
With deep love, tears and smiles,
Your PoPo.
